News From the Future: The Death of President Gingrich And now, an installment in my new series, News from the Future. Our motto: you can't sue me for predictions.
Feb.14, 2013-Pres. Newt Gingrich was found dead today of a massive coronary due to an overdose of Viagra after locking himself in the Oval Office with 20 hookers. "I can do whatever I want now! I'm the president!" he had been heard to say before he shut the doors. Aides reported that Pres. Gingrich had last been seen only wearing a pink thong with a Valentine heart covering his crotch. Vice President Trump is scheduled to be sworn in at noon, promising to make America a super-classy nation. ___________________
"Eternity with Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil." - E. Blackadder, 1791 Questionable
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