SUZY SPREADWELL #1 by John Linton Roberson, available at Google Play Books!
I Didn't Write That!
05 June 2011
  Sarah Palin & Paul Revere: Do IQs Reach Negative Integers?

I try my best to resist the temptation to write anything at all about her. You'll notice her tag below is "Barbie McMooseburger." That's to minimize her mention as far as webcrawlers are concerned. The problem with her is that paying her any attention is a trap. Because attention is the only fuel on which she runs, as she has no ideas, or vision. You wonder, indeed, if she is like a dog chasing a car where the presidency is concerned. What would she do with it should she catch it? Of course, if you've ever stopped your car to see, you found that the dog pissed on your tire. So with she.

She is a walking self-referential feedback loop. Of fruit, but a loop nonetheless.

Giving her any attention only makes her more prominent as a search item, which in turn impels vampire sites like the Huffington Post to put up stories about her to increase their traffic and revenue. Which in turn makes the networks not want to be the last to lap up the sweety and creamy empty calories of the ratings she brings. So they follow her around on this stupid bus tour of hers, not really even knowing why.

I don't want to participate in this because I am convinced that, if everyone would just stop paying attention to her, she'd dry up like a slug and blow away, her and her whole celebilly family.

But there comes a moment where you just can resist temptation no longer. For lo, did Paul Revere ride forth in the night, shake his fist at the British, and say, "You'll take my guns from my cold dead hands!" And behold, the British were girly men and ran away.

So saith Palin.



"He who warned, uh, the ... British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed."


DRINK IN THE GRAVITAS, AMERICA.

Maybe, when she was in 4th grade, she heard "one if by land, and two if by sea," thought it was a math problem, and dozed off? I suppose in any event, here we see the benefit of education in Real America.

RIDE THAT HORSE, PAUL REVERE! WARN THE BRITISH WE'RE COMING! THE BRITISH: WE'RE COMING!

Remember: she is NOT WRONG. NOT EVER. She is the Celestial Madonna of the Barnyard & reality is her bitch. And to prove it, her cultists--and what exactly IS it they see in her? A validation of their own mediocrity?--went on Wikipedia and attempted to change it to make her correct, forgetting, perhaps, that not only are there moderators, but that Wikipedia is not the sole source of information in the world. (Palin will get around to the books once she's president, don't worry) Which means the Palin story has officially gone beyond any effort one could make to satirize it. It satirizes itself. It is a hermetic system that feeds upon its own waste.

Give her enough yarn, she'll get lost in the tangles.

What I gathered in the Celestial Madonna of the Barnyard's troubled face there was what I always do when I see her--fight or flight. She has a look of someone who didn't do the homework, gets called on, and has to answer because she forgot the gun she was going to shoot that dumb teacher with. Seriously, the panic you can see on her face says, "I wish I could hit you. I hate these stupid questions. Why can't they just give it to me?"

For Sarah Palin wants everything that hard work can get you without doing any work at all. If she were a doctor, this is the kind of doctor she would be.



She knows she doesn't know anything or what she's doing, but is mad that we care about that. It's not that she wishes she were smarter. No, she likes herself fine just as she is. The rest of us demand too much of her, that is the source of her barely concealed rage. She never WANTED to know. She just wanted to win. She wants to slack and smile her way to the top. For her mentality is forever that of the weathergirl, of the beauty contestant, of the high school girl who never pays attention in class. She wants to be the girl with the most cake. She doesn't want to have to reach for it.



The Celestial Barnyard Madonna thinks it's enough just to have shown up.

But that's okay. In this country we recognize our laziness and have used television to make up for this and educate us all. So I believe that Sarah Palin will find this classic cartoon not only delightfully patriotic, but helpful AND easy to digest.



You're welcome!

Update:
Good catch on the part of the enterprising Bob Calhoun, who found the source of Palin's confused babbling here--another cartoon. Popeye. No, seriously. Read more here.
________________________
BUY MY BOOKS OR CATS WILL EAT YOU

MARTHA on sale now!THIS SICKNESS #6 with LULU and GLASS HOUSE on sale now!

Labels: , , ,

 
Comments:

Post a Comment





<< Home
"Eternity with Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil." - E. Blackadder, 1791
JLRoberson Self-Portrait 2005.
Questionable words & pictures from John Linton Roberson

SUPPORT MY SINFUL WORK AT PATREON!

Become a Patron!
ALSO FROM THIS WHICH IS US


LULU Book 1 by John Linton Roberson introduction by Martin Pasko
LULU Book 1(2013) 
with an introduction by Martin Pasko

Amazon | Createspace | Comixology


Features:
Frank Wedekind's LULU
SUZY SPREADWELL
VLADRUSHKA (adults only)
STORY OF OH!(2008) Written by Charles Alverson (adults only)
MARTHA(2009)

COMICS
WORDS
PORTFOLIO
CONTACT
TWITTER
FACEBOOK
COMIXOLOGY
AMAZON
GOOGLE PLAY
CREATESPACE STORE
DEVIANTART GALLERY
PRINTS & MORE


Interviews/Discussions:

ROBB ORR
April 2013: LULU Book 1 Interview at Comics Forge

DECONSTRUCTING COMICS
My appearances on the greatest comics podcast there is.

July 2017: The New Mature Flintstones
Discussion with Tim Young and series artist Steve Pugh.

December 2016: Politics in Comics
Discussion with Emmet O'Cuana.

November 2016: Wonder Woman - Earth-One and Before
Discussion with Emmet O'Cuana.


April 2016: Batman v. Superman -  An Assassination

Discussion with Kumar Sivasubramanian and Emmet O'Cuana.


October 2015: Censorship of...Me! (Among Others)
Interview by Tim Young.
Also starring Dale Lazarov & Tim PIlcher.


August 2014:
Crumb’s Confounding “Genesis”

Discussion with Tim Young

April 2014: Corporate Comics: Love 'Em, Hate 'Em
Discussion in Sack's Coffee, Berkeley with Tim Young, Deb Aoki, and Jason McNamara.


April 2013:
Lulu”- Staging a classic on paper
Interview by Tim Young.

August 2012: Flex Mentallo
Discussion with Troy Belford.


January 2012: Comics Events
Discussion with Tim Young


May 2011: Theatre and Comics
Interview by Tim Young




JOEY MANLEY
August 2006 at Talkaboutcomics.com

AUSTIN ENGLISH 
Sept. 2001 at Spark-Online



BUY MY BOOKS OR CATS WILL EAT YOU










Stuff About My Work







All content ©2017 John Linton Roberson and accomplices. All rights reserved.

Subscribe to
Posts [Atom]


Archives
October 2002 / November 2002 / February 2003 / March 2003 / April 2003 / May 2003 / June 2003 / July 2003 / August 2003 / September 2003 / October 2003 / November 2003 / January 2004 / February 2004 / March 2004 / April 2004 / May 2004 / July 2004 / August 2004 / September 2004 / October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / November 2007 / December 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / June 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / February 2010 / March 2010 / April 2010 / May 2010 / June 2010 / July 2010 / August 2010 / September 2010 / October 2010 / November 2010 / December 2010 / January 2011 / February 2011 / March 2011 / April 2011 / May 2011 / June 2011 / July 2011 / August 2011 / September 2011 / October 2011 / November 2011 / December 2011 / January 2012 / February 2012 / March 2012 / April 2012 / May 2012 / June 2012 / July 2012 / August 2012 / September 2012 / October 2012 / November 2012 / December 2012 / January 2013 / February 2013 / March 2013 / April 2013 / May 2013 / June 2013 / July 2013 / August 2013 / September 2013 / October 2013 / November 2013 / December 2013 / January 2014 / February 2014 / March 2014 / April 2014 / May 2014 / June 2014 / July 2014 / August 2014 / October 2014 / December 2014 / February 2015 / March 2015 / June 2015 / July 2015 / August 2015 / September 2015 / October 2015 / November 2015 / December 2015 / January 2016 / February 2016 / March 2016 / April 2016 / June 2016 / July 2016 / August 2016 / November 2016 / December 2016 / January 2017 / February 2017 / April 2017 / May 2017 / June 2017 / July 2017 / August 2017 / September 2017 / October 2017 /