Smiles In HellRudy Giuliani explained his taking a phone call from his wife(which seemed pretty, I dunno, staged to me) in the midst of a speech to the NRA because of...Oh, I know. You think it's too easy. You think it's easy bait. But it's not. I admire the man. It's right that he should keep repeating those three numbers. After all, he owns those three words. Almost three thousand died so that he could use those, because they all knew their deaths would make Giuliani, beloved Giuliani, the president. Those three numbers were a gift to him. As opposed to the 666 that he used to hide with the hairpiece till he got them lasered off.Anyway, the call, the call from his wife that he took; which he says he took because keeping in touch with your spouse by cell phone has been more important since...What has everything been more important since, especially finding any excuse to mention it like a salesman would push a brand? What allows anything that Rudy would like to do? What has torture and mass murder been okay since, as far as he's concerned? What has he said gun ownership(I'd love to see how that'd help you on a plane) is more important since? What three holy numbers does he make sure to tattoo into your brain with each and every speech he gives, the spot becoming more and more calloused and numb every time?You know, Giuliani will be a challenge for them in Hell. How exactly to punish him? Well, I think we can take solace in the fact that so many people died on 9/11 that almost certainly some of them had to be bad people; considering what sort of multinationals and world-controlling organizations ran out of there, almost certainly some, though none deserved to die that way, were very bad people indeed, already destined for Hell long before that day and in no way redeemed by it.And yet I think, watching from down there while the Devil shoves hot coals up their asses, they would resent as much as the ones in Heaven the way Giuliani has exploited their deaths. So I think that they would be given the assignment of meting out Rudy's most appropriate and poetic eternal torment.
And I think that day, for the first time, there would be smiles, at least a few, even in Hell.