LULU by John Linton Roberson (c) 2012.
I Didn't Write That!
20 May 2004
  We're The Bad Guys We're The Bad Guys

42 percent and falling.

That would be George Bush's poll rating at this writing. John Kerry is only slightly ahead, true, but for a challenger--especially one as admittedly colorless as Kerry--that's not bad considering convention season is only just about to start. But 42 percent for an incumbent, particularly during a war--that's terminal velocity. Unless the Iraqis magically transform into the Munchkins, the only thing Bush can do to bring his poll ratings up right now is get us out of Iraq. Except that if he does that he'll be admitting defeat. Which is why the June 30 transfer date is so important to him. It will allow him to get the fuck out while being able to pretend that we're not running off with our tails between our legs, we planned it this way all along!

But so much bad news. First, more Abu Ghraib photos all the time. Here's a particular charmer; another of America's Fightin' Sweethearts, this time with a hearty thumbs-up next to an Iraqi prisoner who had been beaten to death in a shower. One of the torturers, Spc. Jeremy C. Sivits, plead guilty today, the others insisting these were systematic orders given from above based on methods already in use at Guatanamo Bay. The ones organizing both are said to have been known to be particularly savage prison officials when stateside, and taken because they were willing to go, not because they were qualified.

Fighting back tears, Sivits pleaded with the Iraqi people and his comrades in the Army to forgive him, saying he had made a terrible mistake in failing to stop the abuse he saw that night in November. He told the judge, Col. James Pohl, that he regarded himself as a good soldier and a good man thrust into the horrific confines of Abu Ghraib.

Taking responsibility without consequence seems to be the rage these days, Rumsfeld's job still being secure as the most outstanding example. I call it the Schizoid Weasel Apology.

In a remarkably Apocalypse Now sort of move, we also used a helicopter to slaughter 45 members (and injure many more) of a a wedding party that just happened to be 10 miles from the Syrian border, which apparently was reason enough.

As survivors tell it, the wedding party was in full swing. The band was playing tribal music and the guests had just finished eating dinner when, at about 9 p.m., they heard the roar of U.S. warplanes. Fearing trouble, the revelers ended the festivities and went to bed.

About six hours later, the first bomb struck the tent.

"Mothers died with their children in their arms," said Madhi Nawaf, who survived the attack Wednesday in Mogr el-Deeb on the Syrian border. Up to 45 people died — mostly women and children from the Bou Fahad tribe. "One of them was my daughter," Nawaf told The Associated Press. "I found her a few steps from the house, her 2-year-old son Raad in her arms. Her 1-year-old son, Raed, was lying nearby, missing his head."


The start of KILL BILL comes to mind all of a sudden. In a statement that will surely be remembered alongside the jaunty "Bring 'em on," the general in charge, General James Mattis, replied in a very telling way in the following exchange:

"How many people go to the desert 10 miles (16 kilometers) from the Syrian border and hold a wedding many miles from the nearest city," General James Mattis asked rhetorically..."There were two dozen military-aged males."

So age and geography are reasons for murder.

Asked about footage suggesting women and children were killed in the airstrike, Mattis said: "I have not seen the pictures, but bad things happen in war."

But why are we even there to do them? My god, even on the crassest level, one would think this would have brought cheaper gas, but no, Bush faithful, you didn't even get that. Gas costs an arm and a leg. Well, not your arms and legs. Don't consider the absurdity in all this. Worry about whether gays are all marryin' on one another.

"I mean, two males! Think of it!" --Easy Rider

Also, we attacked the devious Achmed Chalabi, though not because he supplied the bogus reasons that got us into the war--because they were convenient for Bush's purposes, so I don't think Bush was led down any primrose path. Bush would have claimed Iraq had dragons if he'd thought it would be believed. But no, it's because Chalabi has--in the most self-serving way, true--become intransigent and is obviously seeing that the US is a sinking ship there, and trying to now become the leader of the anti-US resistance. But so often, from such selfish swine are nations made.

****************************

More Shameless Pluggery:
SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF June 11-July 11 at Chicago Actor's Studio


Enough Bush for a moment. I've also been directing what turns out to be one hell of a cast for the new premiere of my play Suspension of Disbelief here in Chicago. Rather than going to the work of rewriting it I'm going to instead simply vomit up the press release below. If you don't see this play, I won't love you anymore.

SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF is a comedy written and directed by notorious underground cartoonist/writer John Linton Roberson, recently seen as Saturninus in Titus Andronicus (Theater O’ Th’ Absurd at Performance Loft Theatre, 2003). This is the mad and ridiculous tale of the angry failed playwright Rick Krassner (also seen in the acclaimed graphic novel Vitriol) and his horrifying yet hilarious downward spiral at the hands of his roommate, his girlfriend, his agent, his producer, and in fact the play itself, its audience and author. Only he can see the audience watching and laughing at his escalation of Job-like misfortune. Only he knows that all of this only happens to him because some pretentious bastard behind a typewriter though it might be funny. Too bad knowing this only makes Rick’s situation more hellish. Between disaster, sex, violence and cannibalism, this savage farce in the tradition of Michael O’ Donoghue and Christopher Durang has something for everyone. Now that’s entertainment!

One of DePaul Theatre School alumnus and cartoonist John Linton Roberson’s earliest works, the play was originally written, and workshopped with the Clone Theatre Company, in 1989, featuring Eric Hoffman (Annoyance Theatre, Mr. Show), Kara Zediker (Oleanna, Rock Star), and Steve Richardson. No one is as surprised as Roberson to see the play come to fruition on its fifteenth anniversary. “But I’m thrilled that Django and I get to finally inflict this truly evil play upon you, the innocent public.” The world premiere cast includes Michele Alexander, Fred Dolson, Pepper Giese, Josh Johnson, Mirco Lapadula, Amelia Rose Lorenz, Greg Moonen, John Pick, Brian Sichelle, Katherine Wray and Natalie Weingarten. The staff includes Jason Lord (Stage Manager) Christopher Wagner (Technical Director), Steve Saltiel (Set Design) and David Denman (Set Construction).

Previews are June 11 and 12 at 7:30 pm, and Sunday, June 13 at 5 pm. Regular performances begin Friday, June 18 and run through Sunday, July 11. Friday and Saturday performances are held at 7:30 pm and Sundays are at 5 pm, at the Chicago Actor’s Studio, located at 1567 North Milwaukee Avenue in Chicago. All previews are $10 per person. Regular run tickets are $15 per person Fridays & Saturdays, and $12 Sundays. Actor and Theatre Industry seats are $8 (advance reservation only; head shot and resume required for actors, resumes for theatre industry guests). Seats for students, and adults 55 and over, are $10 with a current ID.

There will be no performance on Sunday, July 4. Theater O’ Th’ Absurd will hold an Art Fair Benefit at the performance space at 7:30 pm. Paintings, sketches, original comics pages and painted glass by Ensemble members J. M. Demetrius, David Storms Denman, Mirco Lapadula, Pepper Giese and John Linton Roberson will be available for silent auction. Food, refreshments and music will be provided. A $5 admission is requested at the door.

FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT DJANGO R. BAKER AT 773-419-5001 OR THEATER O’ TH’ ABSURD’S 24-HOUR TOLL-FREE VOICE MAIL AT 877-505-6299.

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