So Tim Russert Interviewed This Chimp, You See...
Usually when this chimp speaks in public, of course, people don't pay much mind to what the chimp says--it's startling, after all, that a chimpanzee can even talk, much less wear a suit.
the chimp was sounding particularly desperate, sad, and actually even more in denial than his father was in 1992. He is destined, it seems, to redo as tragedy everything his father did the first time as farce. And keep in mind, Russert was playing some serious softball here--and still the chimp looked no less simian. Mostly it can be summed up by three or so sentences, repeated and repeated as though Cheney gave him acid and forced him to listen to an endless loop of these talking points, tied to a chair, for 72 hours straight:
"Saddam Hussein was a bad, bad man."
"Stop making fun of the National Guard."
"I ain't spendin' no more'n Clinton wuz."
Here's a section on his lack of service in Vietnam:
Russert: Mr. President, this campaign is fully engaged. The chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Terence McAuliffe, said this last week: "I look forward to that debate when John Kerry, a war hero with a chest full of medals, is standing next to George Bush, a man who was AWOL in the Alabama National Guard. He didn't show up when he should have showed up?"
President Bush: Yeah.
Russert: How do you respond?
President Bush: Political season is here. I was...I served in the National Guard. I flew F-102 aircraft. I got an honorable discharge. I've heard this ? I've heard this ever since I started running for office. I ? I put in my time, proudly so.
I would be careful to not denigrate the Guard. It's fine to go after me, which I expect the other side will do. I wouldn't denigrate service to the Guard, though, and the reason I wouldn't, is because there are a lot of really fine people who have served in the National Guard and who are serving in the National Guard today in Iraq.
Now, this is interesting. Does he actually think that people don't think he did his service because he was in the Guard and they don't take the Guard seriously? Um, no
, stupid chimp! We have a problem because you used political connections to get out of doing even as much as defending Texas from...New Mexico, I guess. While still trying to reap the glory of a supposed military background. Which is supposed to make us forget that it hasn't been as terrible to be in the Armed Forces as this for a long time.
We go on.
Russert: The Boston Globe and the Associated Press have gone through some of the records and said there's no evidence that you reported to duty in Alabama during the summer and fall of 1972.
President Bush: Yeah, they're, they're just wrong. There may be no evidence, but I did report; otherwise, I wouldn't have been honorably discharged. In other words, you don't just say "I did something" without there being verification. Military doesn't work that way. I got an honorable discharge, and I did show up in Alabama.
Russert: You were allowed to leave eight months before your term expired. Was there a reason?
President Bush: Right. Well, I was going to Harvard Business School and worked it out with the military.
Gosh, maybe if my dad had been allowed to do that he'd have kept a finger and not ended up killing himself thanks to post-traumatic stress syndrome. It must be nice to be rich and named Bush.
Then the best bit:
The thing about the Vietnam War that troubles me as I look back was it was a political war. We had politicians making military decisions, and it is lessons that any president must learn, and that is to the set the goal and the objective and allow the military to come up with the plans to achieve that objective. And those are essential lessons to be learned from the Vietnam War.
I fell on the floor. That ranked right along with his condemning steroid use among athletes in the SOTU speech, on the grounds that you mustn't show young people "that there are shortcuts to achievement." Republicans are all about projection, but either this is the ballsiest or most schizoid son of a bitch to ever occupy the Oval Office.
So, having learnt 2 and 2 is in fact irrevocably and unavoidably 4, he has realized, it seems that what you need to do is just say that they are in fact five very loudly and often.
Because god knows what other lesson he's trying to tell us this taught him. What the fuck, seriously, is he saying here? The war in Iraq was a war in which tainted intel was deliberately used to lie his way into a war of choice, which is now a war of attrition mostly being fought so as not to look like a wuss. (Logic apparently being: "Well, I raped the bitch, I might as well sodomize her too.")
Okay, I'll just lose it for a moment: Am I the only one who notices how fucked-up this is?
Well, no actually. He's pissing off his own supporters, in fact, apparently thinking with a war chest of over 100 million dollars he doesn't need them. (Nixon also thought he could campaign in '72 under the label, simply, of "the President," not mentioning the GOP in his ads, and did not stump for anyone. Recall that he had no friends when Watergate came, as a result) I don't even need to critique it, really, because conservatives are already frothing at the mouth over it--as well they should. Stalwarts such as Andrew Sullivan
("On the budget, this president is frighteningly unaware of the reality of his own legacy and policies. That's the only conlclusion you can draw from his answers on Tim Russert. Either that, or he really is lying."), Peggy Noonan
, ("The president seemed tired, unsure and often bumbling. His answers were repetitive, and when he tried to clarify them he tended to make them worse. He did not seem prepared. He seemed in some way disconnected from the event." ) and even the National Review have already attacked it with utmost brutality.
But to me it looked great, because he looked as much like a deer caught in the headlights as his dad did. If the Democrats can keep their shit together, Bush will be beaten in November, and very resoundingly.
I can't wait till the RNC convention, which, as you may recall, is scheduled in New York to coincide with the anniversary of 9/11(tm). I have a hard time imagining this looking as good as they thought it would when they originally announced it last year, and the fact that Tom DeLay even wanted to hold the whole thing on a boat in the harbor--thus denying even the monetary benefit of the convention--along with everything else Bush has denied New York since 9/11(tm)--to the city, well, that didn't look good. "Be a backdrop and shut up, New York; you'll do as you're told." That doesn't sound like any New Yorkers I've ever known.
This is going to be a fun campaign.
Labels: cheney, politics