John Linton Roberson's SUZY SPREADWELL #1 now available at Comixology, Kindle and Google Play!
I Didn't Write That!
16 February 2004
  San Francisco's Marriage Fad

Believe me, having lived in the Bay Area, I can tell you this is the only way marriages were ever going to be major news in San Francisco.

Okay, snarkiness out of the way. Actually, I think this is kind of cool, but I wish it hadn't happened in an election year; better to force this issue once that's all over, because you know Karl Rove is working his fat ass off right now trying to find an adhesive strong enough to keep this on the Democratic candidate till six years hence. Gavin Newsom, San Francisco's new mayor--who previously had always come across to me as something of an opportunistic, sleazy yuppie shit--definitely deserves points for sheer chutzpah here. And to be fair, sometimes the opportunists and those in the right(as opposed to of the Right, mind) have a convergence of interests. He's definitely sewn up the gay vote for all time in that city.

One wonders, though, if they're still having the housing crunch I recall before we left for Chicago, what happens when a lot of non-local couples who came in for the event--and that's a lot; this will be remembered like Woodstock or something--decide to stay because they're afraid that if they move, their marriage will be invalidated. Say hello to housing shortages and rents the likes of which were not known even in the 90s. Ah well. It's still a good thing.

I know the tactic being employed here. Besides being grand political theatre, it's very much an attempt to force the issue, and force politicians--starting with new governor Ahnold--to definitively make their stand plain. (which, again, may prove an unfortunate diversionary issue the GOP will do their best to use to Willie Horton the Democratic candidate) It's also to cause a sort of fait accompli. Think about it. One of the reasons for mass protests is that if you have enough people, the authorities are helpless. You can't arrest everyone. Similarly, look at the sheer number of licenses being issued. It will be impossible to get Ahnold to mass-invalidate the marriages: the last thing he wants to do right now is be diverted on that when the budget is nearing complete bankruptcy, especially when he's come out so many times in favor of gay rights, when asked. And Bush's stupid little amendment couldn't come into being till 2006, they say.

So they might have to be argued against one by one in court. Many won't be at all. Eventually it clogs the courts and marriages last and are treated as valid simply because it's too much trouble not to. It becomes an accepted fact by sheer numbers. Any one of them that is unchallenged, you see, becomes a precedent. And Massachusetts has already made its own opinion on this known.

Speaking of which, it was kind of bitchy of Newsom to steal MA's thunder like that.

My own opinion of gay marriage? I don't care which two consenting adults decide to chain themselves to one another the rest of their lives. What has that to do with me or my own marriage? I can guarantee you that my marriage feels not at all cheapened by that. Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck, Britney Spears, Liza Minelli & David "She Hit Me With Her Big Strong Drunken Fists" Gest--now that's another story.

I somehow detect in the back of some conservatives' ravings on this issue the hint that, had marriage to a member of their own sex been an option they might have and they're glad someone restrained their urges. I see that a lot in them, this idea that if they weren't fixated upon their twisted take on Christian morality, in which God is a denial of the world rather than its creator, they'd immediately commit every sin they could imagine. It must be a strange way to live, to see horns and hooves on everyone not wearing polyester slacks or skirt. And to want others you've never even met to have no lasting happiness or security in their lives. The sad folk who use Jesus the same way they may have once used drugs, guns, or the bottle.

Their trademark on the word "Christian" shouldn't continue to be unchallenged. Nor should they be allowed to use this issue to try to distract people from the fact that Bush has been destroying our country. Who gives a shit who's getting married at a time like this?

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