Bears are loathsome, inhuman, murdering scum that deserve everything they get. As long as it's bad.
Bears fucked your mother. And didn't pay her.
Bears often moonlight as cooks. You don't want to know what they put in your burger last night.
Bears love Michael Bay films.
Bears like to befriend mentally disabled people, stringing them along for years and pretending to like them, and after ten years are up and the victim might have even gotten a girlfriend, they spring up and fucking eat him and his girlfriend. And then they laugh and laugh. "Timmy!" they call out mockingly in the Alaska night.
Bears have lots of big guns, thanks to the NRA being confused one afternoon after the bears got them high.
Bears ate me and wrote this, to enrage you enough to go after them, where they will fucking eat you.
"Eternity with Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil." - E. Blackadder, 1791 Questionable
words & pictures from John Linton Roberson SUPPORT US AT PATREON!